devlinvioletta
skarrification:

Post-solipsistical Smoochy-PieFacts:    – This authentic replication of a primitive torture device was originally put to use by the Incan people of sixteenth century Peru as a means of greater efficiency in sacrificing the virginity of long lines of young village maidens “than that which nature bestoweth”*.
    – It was imported to Europe via the Spanish conquistadors as a method of gently persuading heretics, witches, artists and  jews to the “truth of their sinful ways”*.
    – In 1777, Thomas Jefferson purchased the device to display in his recently opened “Torture Device Museum”* where it is rumored to have been used “not at all infrequently”*.
    – Aleister Crowley was known to have it transported back to South America where he enjoyed it as a method of enema.
    – It has been most frequently referred to as the Post-Solipsistical Smoochy-Pie*, but has also borne the names: the Confession Pump*, the Devil’s Phallus (of malice)*, Slutfucker* and El Interrogador*.
    – This device has been made illegal in Canada but is a requirement of every Catholic Church in New Zealand.
    – It hurts; but it hurts so good.    *(All quotes come from Barkin Fuchzenhammer’s insightful book The Torture Device as Fine Art; specifically the chapter entitled Sculptures You can Fuck.)

skarrification:

Post-solipsistical Smoochy-Pie

Facts:
    – This authentic replication of a primitive torture device was originally put to use by the Incan people of sixteenth century Peru as a means of greater efficiency in sacrificing the virginity of long lines of young village maidens “than that which nature bestoweth”*.


    – It was imported to Europe via the Spanish conquistadors as a method of gently persuading heretics, witches, artists and  jews to the “truth of their sinful ways”*.


    – In 1777, Thomas Jefferson purchased the device to display in his recently opened “Torture Device Museum”* where it is rumored to have been used “not at all infrequently”*.


    – Aleister Crowley was known to have it transported back to South America where he enjoyed it as a method of enema.


    – It has been most frequently referred to as the Post-Solipsistical Smoochy-Pie*, but has also borne the names: the Confession Pump*, the Devil’s Phallus (of malice)*, Slutfucker* and El Interrogador*.


    – This device has been made illegal in Canada but is a requirement of every Catholic Church in New Zealand.


    – It hurts; but it hurts so good.

    *(All quotes come from Barkin Fuchzenhammer’s insightful book The Torture Device as Fine Art; specifically the chapter entitled Sculptures You can Fuck.)

luseepurr
skarrification:

Transteleological Tuggybear or St.Andrew’s cross purpose or Devil’s X or Nietzschean petard hoister– This is an authentic replication of the original device on which St. Andrew was executed in Patras, Greece. – It’s form was altered substantially in middle age depictions because it was “easier to draw”.– “I am unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as our lord and savior. Because I am so humble I demand a device be made which is considerably more elaborate and will take much longer to complete. Also our lord and savior was given no sandwiches while he suffered his martyrdom and so in my humility I demand to be fed sandwiches…” St. Andrew

skarrification:

Transteleological Tuggybear
or St.Andrew’s cross purpose
or Devil’s X
or Nietzschean petard hoister

– This is an authentic replication of the original device on which St. Andrew was executed in Patras, Greece.
– It’s form was altered substantially in middle age depictions because it was “easier to draw”.
– “I am unworthy to be crucified in the same manner as our lord and savior. Because I am so humble I demand a device be made which is considerably more elaborate and will take much longer to complete. Also our lord and savior was given no sandwiches while he suffered his martyrdom and so in my humility I demand to be fed sandwiches…” St. Andrew